Leadership on Point

The Self-Led Person

April 27, 2011 Teri Sica

In a recent interview with my guest, Dr. Richard Schwartz, an internationally renowned psychologist and author, we talked about what it takes to be a self-led person and how the “true self” is finally able to emerge – not an easy process, considering  all of our inner layers and parts.

Ask yourself,  when do you get charged up emotionally?  What gets you activated?

Consider your relationship to your thoughts and emotions, how your inner parts interact with each other, how you relate to the parts of you that you dislike or don’t want others to see.  How do YOU talk to those parts of you?  Perhaps this is when your “internal critic”, “task master”, “perfectionist”, or “pessimistic” part (among others) step in, as Richard suggests in his book.

As I’ve learned from my work, most of us just want to be rid of these parts, wishing them away – but they won’t go away.  It’s about getting these parts of us to relax that allows the true self to emerge.

In my conversation with Richard, he talked about the importance of learning to be “curious” (like the innocent child) and “compassionate” to all of these parts of us.  Being curious, like the inquisitive child, and compassionate, versus being judgmental or harsh.  As you learn to step back, unburden and be compassionate to all of your internal parts, THIS is when the authentic, “true self”, has the opportunity to emerge and to lead.

Richard described the self-led person as having the following characteristics: Curiosity, Compassion, Confidence, Creativity, Calmness, Clarity, Courage and Connectedness.  No wonder we just intuitively FEEL the presence of a self-lead person!

I credit Dr. Richard Schwartz for his clarity and the applicable way in which he describes this complex process of working with our inner parts.

Remember  that leading with the “true self” offers you the opportunity to live a more joyful life, a life that is rich, full of meaning and passion.

A final message from Dr. Schwartz as we concluded the interview, “May the SELF be with you”.

Written by RLA Associate and radio personality Teri Sica. You can contact Teri at: terisica@comcast.net or tune in to her show on Saturday mornings at 10:30 on 95.9 WATD-FM.

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Where Is the YOU in Your Performance?

March 16, 2011 Teri Sica

When people ask me why their performance is suffering, I almost always find the missing piece is their authenticity.

So what happens and why do we get so stuck?  It’s more about the emotional parts of who we are than the intellectual component.  I think it’s almost always related to the fear of being judged, the fear of failing, making mistakes, and sometimes even the fear of succeeding.

It seems like the common theme boils down to the fear of our own vulnerability – the fear of revealing our weakness.  This is why it takes much introspection, insight, and learning to effectively manage our fear so that we can become more authentic in all of the roles we perform.


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The Challenge – Maintaining Your Authenticity To Enjoy the Holidays

December 21, 2010 Teri Sica

What greater challenge than being able to maintain your authenticity during holiday time, right?  After all, this is when outside pressures are everywhere – at work, in families, social situations, you name it!   So, whatever happened to enjoying the beauty of the holiday season?

I can’t tell you how many times I hear people stressing out about all of the expectations and how they are going to divide up their time, budget, and loyalties to satisfy everyone.

Whether you’re stressing about your company holiday party, your family loyalties, or your budget, I suggest you evaluate your choices to see if these are aligned with who “you” are and let’s remember – you DO have choices.  Let’s not forget about that!  As you make choices, listen to that authentic inner voice and go with your intuition.  Check out how often you’re in the “should” mode.  Instead, think about what’s real for YOU.


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“Discovering Authenticity” with Teri Sica

November 29, 2010 Teri Sica

Discovering Authenticity” is the name of my talk radio show and has become the basis of my work as a psychotherapist and coach.  I continue to learn through my own journey and through my work, that living authentically is a huge challenge with great rewards.

With all of the outside pressures and expectations in the roles that we perform at work, at home, as parents, leaders, spouses, it’s easy to get lost or derailed.  We can’t perform effectively in any of these roles when we aren’t authentic.

For the past 28 years or more, I’ve learned from my clients that authenticity is what we all struggle with most.  I see it every day, whether I’m working with martial conflicts, communication roadblocks, eating disorders, social anxiety, performance anxiety, you name it!  All boils down to fear of simply “being” in the moment.

As I frequently say on my talk show and to my clients, “Authenticity is basic, but far from simple”.


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